We had our pre-op on Friday and tomorrow is surgery. I'm of course a little nervous, but also excited we are getting closer to starting a family. After tomorrow, we can officially move forward with the IVF process!
My husband has truly been amazing through all of this. He was supposed to work on Friday, but he took the day off to go with me to the pre-op. He never misses work. I'm so glad he felt he should be there. It was overwhelming going over everything. There was so much information and of course hearing the things that could go wrong is not easy to hear. Having my husband there made it a lot easier.
They did some tests to check my health and for the first time in my life, I had high blood pressure! I wasn't the least bit surprised either. The worst thing I heard was I was going to have to have my cervix dilated the night before the surgery. Not again! Here we go 8 hour non-stop contraction. You would think after all this I'd be ready for a natural child birth. Uh...no. ;)
So, I'm just going to relax tonight and get a good night's sleep.
Me
This journey begins with a lot of excitement and fears, which was the reason for this blog when I started it in 2010. It was meant to be an outlet for me, but after only two posts, I quickly realized I was a far more private person than I thought. Three years later, we are still on this journey and a lot has changed. I've come to realize that sharing this very personal journey may not only help me, but may help another woman going through the same thing.
A little about me. I've endured a lot of heart-break growing up. Through heart-aches I've gained strength, courage, faith, and the ability to laugh. I truly believe with God, loving friends and laughter, any soul can heal. I'm a strong and positive person, but I can feel this journey is testing the very person that I am. I'm grateful to have awesome women in my life walking with me. I'm also blessed with an amazing husband. I've had to be strong a lot in my life, but he has taken that burden from me, and I just couldn't be more grateful to have him as my husband.
A little about me. I've endured a lot of heart-break growing up. Through heart-aches I've gained strength, courage, faith, and the ability to laugh. I truly believe with God, loving friends and laughter, any soul can heal. I'm a strong and positive person, but I can feel this journey is testing the very person that I am. I'm grateful to have awesome women in my life walking with me. I'm also blessed with an amazing husband. I've had to be strong a lot in my life, but he has taken that burden from me, and I just couldn't be more grateful to have him as my husband.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Monday, January 7, 2013
Walking in Faith
I don't really have an update, at least on the financial situation. The day I lasted posted I was really having a hard time emotionally. Overwhelmed by it all and questioning if I should move forward. I've been trying to quiet my heart long enough to hear God. I keep hearing the words of my mentor Yvonne, "What does your heart say?". She always taught me to follow my heart. Well, my heart is not done yet. I need to walk in faith and trust that some how some way we will get the remaining amount of money needed.
I've said this so many times during this whole ordeal, I am truly amazed by the friends I have in my life. Many of these friends I've known for nearly 20 years and we are still walking together. I've also gained some new friends. I'm so incredibly grateful that no matter what life puts in my path, the one thing that has been consistent in my life is my friends. Being surrounded by loving and supportive friends makes it impossible to give up.
Another thing my mentor always said, "Isn't this exciting. You are going to learn so much about yourself." I haven't reached any sort of excitement during this, but I am definitely learning a lot about myself.
I've said this so many times during this whole ordeal, I am truly amazed by the friends I have in my life. Many of these friends I've known for nearly 20 years and we are still walking together. I've also gained some new friends. I'm so incredibly grateful that no matter what life puts in my path, the one thing that has been consistent in my life is my friends. Being surrounded by loving and supportive friends makes it impossible to give up.
Another thing my mentor always said, "Isn't this exciting. You are going to learn so much about yourself." I haven't reached any sort of excitement during this, but I am definitely learning a lot about myself.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Again...we wait.
Well...time to just vent. Today, I am over it!! Tired of the stress and tears. I've come to accept that this entire process is going to be a bumpy process till the end. My only hope is that it ends with a child!
We got approved for $25,000, so I thought! That put us at $5,000 short. Today after not hearing back from our loan officer I spoke with someone else. Our loan officer forgot one minor (huge) detail which brings our loan to $20,000. That brings us to $10,000 short! I am so over it all. I know I have to keep pushing forward, but I'm tired. I have my surgery scheduled for January 15th and have to pay up front for the surgery on January 11th. If we can't get the entire amount for IVF, there is no point in getting the surgery since it is not a health risk.
So...now we wait...again. The loan officer is going to see what they can do. I just want to hear good news. I can't help but wonder if these obstacles are some sort of sign. I know, this is not the time to over think anything. I have to just turn it over. It's getting harder and harder to do this.
As I mentioned, my wonderful friend setup a fund for us. Please, please, if anyone can help, even just a little, we would truly appreciate it. I know $10,000 would be hard to raise, but every little bit will help us.
We got approved for $25,000, so I thought! That put us at $5,000 short. Today after not hearing back from our loan officer I spoke with someone else. Our loan officer forgot one minor (huge) detail which brings our loan to $20,000. That brings us to $10,000 short! I am so over it all. I know I have to keep pushing forward, but I'm tired. I have my surgery scheduled for January 15th and have to pay up front for the surgery on January 11th. If we can't get the entire amount for IVF, there is no point in getting the surgery since it is not a health risk.
So...now we wait...again. The loan officer is going to see what they can do. I just want to hear good news. I can't help but wonder if these obstacles are some sort of sign. I know, this is not the time to over think anything. I have to just turn it over. It's getting harder and harder to do this.
As I mentioned, my wonderful friend setup a fund for us. Please, please, if anyone can help, even just a little, we would truly appreciate it. I know $10,000 would be hard to raise, but every little bit will help us.
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